Heroes don't wear helmets
by himym lovah
Summary: An AU set in medieval times. Swarkles with a twist! Who doesn't love it? And to all you lovely readers, please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I am ****_so_**** excited for this story! It's a medieval-swarkles-saga, I know it sounds weird, but bear with me. Reviews are ****_so important_****, because this story is so different than the normal B/R fanfic! You are also welcome to PM me if you get confused. Love to all the followers!**

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He had been waiting for his friends for sometime when they finally showed up, and believe him, the pub wasn't a great place to be sitting alone for a long time. Sure he was a regular here, but -

"Barnabas! There you are! Do you know how long I've been looking for you?" Chimed out Lily. He stood up to greet her.

"Me? I've been waiting here for you!"

"I was here when you came, I was just hiding," she said defensively. "_They_ were back again." Just before he was about to ask who, he remembered. Lily and her husband, Marshall were in a sort of hiding. They'd been hidden ever since they eloped about a a year ago, and Lily's mom was _pissed. _She was so pissed that she sent men to find her daughter and drag her back home to marry the man they had arranged for her.

"Barney!" said Lily interrupting his thoughts yet again, " Stop being rude and say hi to my new friend, Robin." He stood up awkwardly and inspected her. Her body was all smooth lines and gentle curves. She was unusually tall for a women, not only that she was also unusually thin. It was clear to him that she wasn't from this village, maybe somewhere north. Far north.

"Hi, I'm Barnabas, but call me Barney." He said smoothly.

"Robin." She smiled. "Actually, I think we've met. You hit on me remember?"

"Oh, yeah! You were totally in to me." He smirked. Lily sat back, amazed, that Barney and Robin were actually totally clicking. They had such a natural chemistry that, until now, she thought only she and Marshall could had.

"Was not! If anyone, you were the one who was totally digging the show." She did a little turn jokingly and they both laughed. Lily coughed to get their attention and gestured for them to sit at the booth. Barney noticed that Ted and Marshall had arrived while they were taking. He slid in next to Theodore and pulled a chair up for Robin, who blushed at the gesture.

"Have I told you about the new maiden I'm dating? She has a thing for lute players." Ted sounded. The whole gang rolled their eyes, including Lily's new friend, Robin. Ted was always going on about his lute playing, and it was a well-known stereotype that lute players are hopeless romantics.

While Ted was going on about this girl, Barney leaned over and whispered to Robin. "This may be hard to listen to sober, you wanna head over to the bar and order our drinks?"

"Yes please," she whispered back. They headed over to the slick marble bar and both called out "_Scotch, neat_."

Barney looked her up and down approvingly. "My kinda girl."

The barkeep handed both of them their scotches in a fresh crystal glass. Barney slid some coins on the counter and called out "Thank you _Wendy the wench_!"

"Barney, I told you; it's just_ Wendy_!" the waitress groaned. He winked in reply.

As they were walking back to their friends Barney casually tugged on the ribbon of Robin's corset. She smacked his hand away and shook her head.

"Yeah," said Barney nodding and pulling Robin close to his side, "We're gonna be good friends."


	2. Chapter 2

Barney was on his way to pick up Robin for lunch at the local tavern and maybe show her around after. She was only just beginning to explore the town and she was constantly getting lost. Far too many a tale had started with "... and I had _no_ idea where I was..." or "... I was _completely and utterly _lost... "

When he got to where they were supposed to meet he barely had time to pause before he saw her come barreling down the road. She looked around frantically before their eyes meet and she noticed him.

"Barney! Barney! You need to come _now_!" She practically knocked him over when she reached him, unable to stop. He was anxious to hear what was so important but she was out of breath, bent over, hands on her knees, gasping.

"Robin, you are killing me! What happened?"

She considered acting bitter about his tone, but decided against it and just shot him a look. "They took Lily!"

"What!" Panic flooded through him; he wished so much that this wasn't happening. Not now. "Where." Robin grabbed his hand and took off again. They ran past village square and grabbed Ted, who was playing his lute there. He was scared that Robin might get lost and misdirect them, but she came through. She brought them to a dark part of town, kind of by the docks.

Ted lunged forward and Robin tried to as well but Barney stuck his arm out. "Wha- no, Barney I wanna help."

He paused and gave her a considering look before saying. "Alright Scherbatsky, give 'em all you got."

They both stepped forward. Robin started arguing with on of the huge goons right away. He went over to where Ted was and saw one of those jerks holding Lily. She was so small that he was actually holding her about a foot above the ground. She was screaming _"Let me go!"_ repeatedly and kicking, trying desperately to escape the man's grasp.  
He tried to push the man back. "Let her go, jerk!"

"Yeah," added Ted, " You have no right to take her."

"Hey buddy, I don't make the orders, I just follow them." Just as they were about to continue they heard a scream come from Robin's direction. They whipped their heads around and gaped at the scene. What they saw was maidenly Robin standing next to the gruff man on the ground. She had punched this guy out.

Everyone paused for a moment, but soon made a smooth transition into fighting again. Ted was getting more and more heated. He'd know Lily for so long; they can't just take her away without her will. The man kept dismissing him and Ted finally punched him in the face, taking a page from Robin's book.

The thug was taken aback, he wasn't too hurt, just a bloody nose, but he readily returned the blow. Then it was Barney who stepped up and put his fist in. He had his friends' backs. Another shot from the goon. Ted. Goon. Barney. Ted. Goon. It soon became a jumble of fists without order. It was utter chaos, complete madness, clutter-wonderful. Then over.

It wasn't exactly that their little gang had _won_ the fight. More that it was over and they had successfully pulled Lily away and found Marshall slightly bruised and lying on the ground. Yep. They _did_ have everyone and that _was_ what they wanted, but the guys would come back and probably take them where they were trying to take Lily. As much as they hated it, these people had the power to do away with people. And they were next.

* * *

Just as they suspected the men came back. They came when the sun was just about setting and told them they had to go. Of course the group didn't want anymore trouble so they agreed, but only on their terms.

_1) They'd leave by the end of the month, but no sooner_

_2) Lily and Marshall could stay together_

_3) They would all stay together and go wherever they wanted - not back to Lily's parents - but to where they wanted to go, and no one had to know where that was._

As they all sat around their regular table at their regular pub, there was an aura of sadness and nostalgia. In a month it would all be gone.


	3. Chapter 3

"Barney!" Robin ran into his house, slightly annoyed. They were leaving now, and he was the only one not ready by the carriage. "Barney! Come on!" she pined. Zipping in and out of rooms and darting around the home, she at long last reached the right chamber.

"Finally!" She sighed out.

He jumped up and slammed something shut. Sounding mad, he sputtered out, "Robin! Don't you knock?!"

"What's that?" She walked towards the rectangular thing on his desk, attempting to pick it up. He hastily jumped between the two.

"Nothing." He tucked it under his arm and started to march out. Turning back, he said "You coming?"

Robin was shocked, stopped dead in her tracks. "Barney, tell me the truth, what is that?" Her tone was stern, and he knew she wasn't going to let this go. His expression dropped and he passed the book into her expecting hands.

"_The bro code?" _She looked up and he mused, "Not so loud!" in a hushed tone. She gave him a confused look, what was this book and why was it such a big deal. She opened the manuscript and started to read.

"The bro code, by _Barnabas Stinson? '_Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by internationalized code of conduct. Some call it mortality. Others call it religion. I call it _The Bro Code._'" She rolled her eyes and continued softly. "Blah blah blah… okay, article one 'bros before hoes. The bond between two bros is stronger than that of a man and a woman because on average, men are stronger than women. That's just science?'"

She held the book back at arm's length, somewhat offended, and pushed it back towards Barney. She wasn't sure if this was just some elaborate joke of his or if he was indeed serious, but she was almost certain it was the latter.

"Oh, don't give me that look Robin, I _can't stand_ that look! One day I was at the bar and… needed rules… so I…" he sighed before ending with, "Bro code. But, one of the rules of the bro code is bros only. So… just, just… okay?"

"Mmm hmm, so what you're saying is that you're writing a book of rules for dudes, and I have to keep it secret for some _insane _reason?"

"Well… yes. Just promise you won't tell. Ever."

Robin rolled her eyes again, it all seemed ridiculous. "Promise. I really don't see the big deal though."

Barney's eyes smiled, but then grew serious. "Yeah, that's the thing. I don't think I ever told you this, or anyone for that matter, but my writing a book is, well kind of illegal." Blended shock and confusion crossed her face when she heard him say illegal. How could it be _illegal? _He must have seen the questions written on her face.

"Surprised?" he asked laxly amused. "A while ago I got in some hot water at work for authoring a book."

"Really? What do you even do for work? I mean, what's your job?"

"Please."

She was already feeling pretty sentimental and a bit sympathetic that day; it wasn't easy leaving. She placed her hand on Barney's forearm, looking into his crystal eyes. "Your secret's safe with me." Before standing up she kissed his check gently. As much as Barney would hate to admit it, it made him feel tender inside. He was almost afraid he'd get a partial just from that small gesture.

"Ready to go?" He held out a hand to help her up. She reluctantly took it. They slowly made their way out of the old house and into the 'escape vehicle.' The carriage crept forward and the gang was off. And no one looked back.


	4. Making the move

Blue waters. Not exactly green grass. European. Slightly dingy, like the whole town needed to be dusted off. But lovely nonetheless.

That was their new city. It was actually pretty big, much larger than their old home. In fact the only thing missing was MacLaren's, but that was one of a kind.

They had rented four houses, all in a block's radius, that was probably the biggest upside of the move. Marshall and Lily of course shared one home, which was right next to Ted's. Barney's fortress, as he liked to call it, was across the street and Robin's was about two over from him, almost directly across from Lily and Marshall. Instead of them though, she was across from a vacant building that had a huge _For Sale_ sign on.

They were all loitering around that building today. Sure, there were many more things to do than stand around an empty building, but no one was in an exploring mood.

"Ya know what I want- no- ya know what I _need_? _Alcohol_. Buckets and buckets of _alcohol_," Lily said longingly and wide-eyed.

"Yeah," they sighed wistfully in unison.

"Do you wanna find a bar?" Marshall suggested.

"Aw, baby," Lily started in, "We all asked and the nearest one is… like ten miles away? Yeah, that was it."

"You guys talked to people without me?!" Lily rolled her eyes, typical Marshall, always so social.

"And with that, we should be heading home. C'mon Marshmallow." She took his hand and led him home, Lily's gentle _shhhh _covering his objections.

"I think I'm gonna go too." Barney voiced, walking away slowly.

Just as he had walked about halfway he glanced back. A terrible vibration went up his spine when he saw Ted's hand casually on Robin's arm. She giggled at whatever he said. Barney's body filled with an emotion he'd never felt before, he stormed towards the pair.

"Ted! What do you think you're _doing_?"

"Um… talking to Robin," Ted seemed annoyed and pulled Barney aside before continuing, "Bro! You are totally blocking me right now! I'm trying to flirt here." He attempted to casually shift back into his conversation with Robin, but Barney stopped him.

"Yeah, _bro_, don't."

"Why?"

"_Ted, just… just. Okay? Just… okay?"_

"Um, alright? I guess I'll go home too? Seya Robin!" Ted said, beyond confused, before walking home.

After Ted was out of earshot Robin quickly shot, "Barney! What the heck was that?"

"Me? What about you? Flirting with Ted, I thought I knew you better Scherbatsky."

"Hey! I have needs too." Robin defended, while Barney put a disgusted look on his face. "What? Don't act offended, you of all people know what I mean. Why is this a big deal anyway?"

"Because Robin, I don't want you flirting with _him_. I don't want you flirting with _anyone_." He paused and looked away, not wanting to face her as he said, "I want you flirting with _me_."

As she stood there, mouth open, eyes confused, he considered darting back home and pretending like nothing happened. He knew better though, and if he didn't, the little Lily in his head sure did.

_Barney! I'm so proud of you! Admitting you have feelings for her, that's huge! Wait… walk away? Walk away? Are you stupid! Don't walk away! You'll never know how she feels! Oh my… man up Barney!_

He obeyed "little Lily" and stood there for a small while longer, though he thought he may explode if she didn't say anything soon. Luckily, she did, it just wasn't what he expected.

"Barney… are you kidding me!?" she punched his arm.

"Ow! Am I kid- no I'm not _kidding you!"_

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, _Barney_, I have been flirting with you from day one and dropping hints all the time. You ignoring me made it pretty clear you weren't interested."

"I wasn't ignoring you; I thought all this time you were joking. Believe me, if I knew how you felt I would have made my move _way_ earlier. Robin, you're freaking beautiful." She rolled her eyes, like she was saying _yeah right_. "No, really, you are. Your eyes. Your hair. Your-"

"Shut up and kiss me!"

Barney smirked with delight and headed forward. Grabbing her face with his hands he kissed her like she's never been kissed before. And she reciprocated gladly.

It all happened so fast.

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**Review, review, review! The next chapter will probably be pretty adult, and I think I'll need some help, so if you're willing to help please, please, **_**please**_** PM me!**


	5. Chapter 5

Why did this seem so romantic? It wasn't. Barney swept her across the room like a broom. _Like a broom… _But, like a broom.

Her mind spun. It literally spun. This was crazy! Barney? _Barney…_ Was this right? Being here with him? Or was she fooling herself thinking this would make her feel content and safe? He seemed to read her mind.

"Are you sure about this, Robin?"

She wanted to say everything she was thinking, but her heart took control of her mouth before her brain had a chance. "Yes. Positive."

Positive? Where did that come from?

Barney took her mouth for his. He was such a good kisser. _Positive. Positive. _It felt like the answer to every question. _Positive. _

There was no turning back or hiding from the ghosts of feelings that lingered in the air every time they were together. No turning back, and it felt good.

His fingers wasted no time with the ribbons of her corset. As long as it took to get on, it came off in a twinkling. Barney grinned in fulfillment.

"I've wanted to do that since the second I laid eyes on you." He whispered into her silky neck.

Robin bite her lip, full of suspense. She couldn't wait another second. She went for it, diving on top of him. She had been yearning for this too.

Passion rose high, and the house was loud that night with the sounds of a friendship changed forever.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, I am oh so extremely sorry for the long wait, but I hope it's worth it. School might hold me up a bit, but I will try to write as much as I can. Truth be told, I'm really proud of this chapter, it's a lot longer than I'm used to. Let me know if you like it this way or not. Reviews equal happiness; honestly they are the best stress relievers for me! Love to all y'all!**

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And then there was Robin. In Barney's bed, staring unyieldingly at the ceiling. She was thinking so many things, but she turned her attention only on to how to get out. No walk of shame for her.

When she heard Barney stir her mind went into total overload. _Please don't say anything, please don't say anything, please please don't say anything._

"Morning," _Crap! _He yawned hard, clearly tired from last night. "You hungry? Because I am _starving_."

Robin pushed herself up with her elbows, twiddling her thumbs pensively. He sat up as well, wanting a better view of her face. It took him no time at all to tell she was uncomfortable.

"Robin, relax, okay? Let's talk this out over some breakfast." The genuine sweetness in his voice made her able to let go a little and unwind. It was a side of him she didn't see every day, and she savored the moments when she did.

* * *

Robin finally climbed out from the warmth of the blankets to follow Barney to the kitchen. To answer his question from before, she _was_ starving.

"So, what's cooking?" she hummed, hands over her growling stomach.

"Actually, I haven't gotten around to buying food, so…"

"Barney! You promised me breakfast!" She crossed her arms and he laughed at her pouty face.

"Well then, _my lady," _he joked, holding out his hand, "Let's go fetch some breakfast."

"_Get down!"_ Barney whispered. The two hit the ground as fast as they could. "Okay, it's clear."

"Stop that!" Robin stood up to brush the dirt off and punch his arm.

"_Ow_! Stop what?" he said innocently, shrugging ever so slightly.

"Making me dive on the ground! No one was there you dork." She pushed his shoulder back slightly, pretending to be mad, which of course made Barney chuckle. She always made him laugh.

"Okay, fine. Did Marshall and Lily buy any food yet?"

"No. But, Ted did!" she said excited at the thought of eating.

"Alright Scherbatsky, _let's go_."

* * *

The short walk to Ted's seemed to take years. They stopped after every step, entering into fits of laughter. Not the stealthiest bunch.

"Shhhh," Barney instructed, still laughing.

"You _shhhh_!" Robin laughed out. He waved his hand, dismissing her toying.

He put his hand on the door and mouthed, _one, two, three GO!_

Barney, followed by Robin, burst through the door, acting like spies. They jumped down onto the floor and rolled like there were lasers above them. They, of course, failed miserable and erupted into laughter.

Barney covered Robin's mouth with his hand, but they both kept laughing, maybe a little too loud.

"_Get down!_"

"Ha-ha, very funny, Barney."

She turned around, but didn't see him anywhere in the room. A hand reached out and pulled her under the table. That same hand, attached to Barney, pointed to Ted.

"Hello? Who's there?" Ted said in a sheepish voice that was gaining more confidence as he spoke more words. "I don't want to, but I will beat you up if you have to!"

At that Barney and Robin started to laugh again. And again, it was loud.

"_Barney? Robin? … Are you two drunk or something_?"

He didn't get an answer from the giggling duo under the table, but he didn't expect one anyway. Tired, Ted dragged his hand over his face.

"I'm going back to bed. You two… just try not to be so naïve." He sulked back to his room, shaking his head at his two friends.

Barney, trying not to laugh, took Robin by the hand and led her to the pantry. He snatched some bread and put a finger over his mouth.

"_Nailed it_!" he sang once they were out of the house. Robin rolled her eyes and pushed him over. He was such an idiot.

* * *

Robin thought breakfast was going to be weird, but it was actually legen- wait for it- dary_. Oh no, he was already rubbing off on her. _

They talked about their jobs, well Robin did, about the dumb things they did when they were kids and their childhoods all together, about food and books and… _everything._ They told jokes and stories. They even shared secrets. Neither one could have expected their brunch to go so well.

Then the bothersome topic of last night came up. As much as they loved talking to each other, this was one talk they both didn't want to have, even if it was with the other.

"But relationships can be so much pressure…" Robin examined.

"And you know how are friends can be…" Barney reasoned.

"But don't you wanna…"

"Yeah, I do. D-do you?"

"Of course. So, what are we going to do?"

"Well," Barney reflected, "Neither of us wants the pressure, but neither of us wants to stop… _this_."

They both thought for a minute before Barney decided he had a great idea, typical.

"What if we spend the rest of the day apart, and I mean totally apart, and we see how it goes. So if either of us wants to rekindle this thing, we will. And then we'll know if we want this, like really actually want this."

"Barney, that's- not a bad idea. That could actually work! Let's try it." Immediately after the words left her mouth a smug look formed on his face.

"Alright then, get out!"

"What!?" she said taken aback.

"Yeah, we have to start now," he insisted. He'd already crowded her half way to the door.

She threw her head back, both laughing at his ridiculousness and wailing in exasperation. "You are insane!"

"_Yeah, isn't it wonderful_? Seya Robin!"

"Bye crazy!" she closed the door and took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

After going home, showering, and most importantly changing her clothes, because nothing screams one-night-stand more than last-night's-clothes, she set out to meet Lily for their lunch date.

On the walk over she kicked a pebble to keep her mind off of Barney. It didn't really work; it felt like her mind had one setting, repeat. The same words bounced around in her brain, _Barney, boyfriend, _and _crap._

May not be the most poetic words, but they the only ones that captured her emotions_. Was she obtuse?_ Not important. What was important was figuring this mess out. She sighed thoughtfully.

She had made her choice: _ask Lily_

* * *

Lily took a huge bite out of her crimson red apple, scanning the crowd for Robin. _Where was she?_

Her eyes honed in on one brunette in particular, that _had_ to be Robin. She might lose it if it wasn't.

"Robin!" she said more than slightly annoyed. The woman turned around, deep in thought. Fortunately it was Robin. She stood there passive, eyes focused on a cobblestone, and chewing her pinky nail.

"_Robin? Robin! Earth to Robin!" _ Lily shook her friend softly by the shoulders, shooting her a concerned look. The Robin Scherbatsky she knew was more focused.

"Oh, um, sorry my mind's a little boggled right now."

"A little? I feel like Barney," she paused, gearing up for her impression. "_Robin, Robin! Look at me! Robin I loveeeee you!" _

Lily laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world, while Robin couldn't even try to hide her confusion and panic. _Did she know?_

"Oh, c'mon Robin, it's funny!" Lily giggled out.

"_What! No, no it's not. That doesn't even make sense. It's just not funny, okay?_" Robin said rapidly.

Lily scrunched her eyebrows together. _What is up with her today? It's probably something to do with Barney, yep definitely Barney. There's the poop. _

"Did you sleep with Barney!?"

Robin hesitated; she looked up then down, and made snorting noises in protest. "Well_, yes_! I did and it was amazing, we had so much fun just talking and-and…" she sighed," And he said if we missed each other during the day then we should date. _What do I do Lily_?"

Lily leapt up and hugged Robin. She saw this coming from day one and she couldn't be more glad that it was finally here. "Robin, what you do is go. Go, be with him now! _Ahhh_! You're finally gonna be a couple!"

Lily gave her a reassuring smile and an apple as she pounded the cobblestone, excited to get to Barney. Her boyfriend. This was going to happen.

* * *

"Hey! Barney!"

"Robin?!" Barney was leaning causally against the wall talking with Ted and Marshall. To be honest he was a little bored, well not bored just downcast. He was so confused about Robin, but he didn't want to chase her. That is until Robin ran up and he perked up with excitement.

"Barney," she said out of breath. "I came to tell you," she took another massive breath, "That… I wanna do _this_. Us."

"Really?" he said totally sincerely, a side not often shown.

The guys looked at each other then at the scene playing out before them with complete befuddlement. Here stood _ night stand_ and _Mrs. never getting married_ actually wanting to commit- and to each other no less. Noticing their stares Barney repositioned Robin and himself out of earshot.

"Really. I mean, it's not gonna be perfect or even easy, but I definitely want to try. I wanna be with you." She kissed him sweetly. It was totally out of character, but felt it right. "Let's get out of here."

And with that the two walked away, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder. Maybe it would crash and burn, but maybe it wouldn't. And wasn't that half the fun?


	7. Puzzles

**I love you guys endlessly (in a totally non-weird way) for supporting this story! I don't know if it's been getting better or worse, so don't be afraid to leave an honest review, I love them. Thank for bearing with me through all my crazy! Happy reading and love to all the followers!**

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"Stop trying to peek!" Barney said, trying to keep his hands over her eyes.

"Stop being _insane!_" she taunted back. "Besides, I know this town pretty well." Barney scoffed. "I do! I know it well enough to know that you're taking me to the vacant building." She finished smugly.

"_Or am I_?"

"Yes."

"_Oh really_?"

"Yes."

"Okay, okay, we're here, Scherbatsky. You can open your eyes… _now!_"

She gasped as he took his hands off and she finally saw what the "_big surprise_" was. She was pleased to see she was right. It was the vacant building, only it wasn't vacant.

Robin rushed over to what looked to be their old booth. She smiled curiously up at Barney, who was now joined by the others. Turning to the side she noted a bar, already stocked, with a sign that read _Puzzles_ over it. It was a bar.

"Why's it called puzzles?" she questioned.

"That's the puzzle!" Ted and Barney said simultaneously.

Robin strolled over to where her boyfriend was standing and kissed him, she was bubbling over with excitement.

Biting her lip and shaking her head she whispered, "We have a bar!"

Barney titled his head and gentled lifted Robin's chin and kissed her deeply. Everything was going perfect. He had the girl of his dreams, which he didn't think existed considering he didn't dream of _the one _like Ted did. He owned a bar with his best friend. Something had to go wrong, when hadn't it in his lifetime? And something did.


	8. Chapter 8

The past few weeks of the relationship had been so screwed up. What had been so easy, so effortless at first, had gotten so hard.

But the way it happened and how it was now was the weirdest part. They'd always been so sure of themselves and who they were.

But now Barney was acting so shy. He retreated into himself, too scared of him and his tendencies to mess everything up. He had grown up so much with Robin in his life, but he just couldn't catch on to this. It felt like he was falling down off a cliff and as many chances as he had to grab hold of something, he missed them all. Even with his best efforts, it never worked. So he turned into what he never wanted to be, but thought he had to be in order to keep things up. And that meant spending almost all of his time at the bar.

And Robin, who had always seen him so clearly, saw that he was scared, but didn't know what to do about it. It was different as a couple, she couldn't just tell him to grow a pair and get over it.

Instead she pushed and pulled to get Barney back, to get him of out his theoretical shell. Robin tried entirely too hard, becoming almost obsessed with not ruining it. She had to try her hardest, if she did, she couldn't fail. That was how she treated everything else so why not Barney?

But the more she pushed him the more he pulled away. She was felt like she was trying to approach a pigeon. It would step back every time she tried to get closer, even though all she ever did was help that bird… It was just so frustrating for the two.

Sometimes at the bar when a guy would hit on Robin, she would go mental, seeing an opportunity for Barney to act more like a boyfriend and less like a pigeon.

"Barney, kick his ass." She prompted him. Since she loved fighting and he loved to argue, it should be an easy fix, right?

"Stop," was all he said. Very un-Barney, of him. The thing was that no one knew whether he was taking to the guy or to Robin.


	9. Chapter 9

Ted, Marshall, and Lily all headed out to MacLaren's at the usual time, expecting the usual evening. They'd head out, drink some beers, and have fun watching Robin and Barney because they were, in their own way, adorable. Lastly, they'd talk about nothing for hours, and love it.

But instead of the _almost_ adorable couple, they were expecting, they saw a fighting one. The gang rushed over, but Lily made them stay back and out of sight. Lily put a finger to her mouth quieting them.

Entering at what, must have been the halfway point of the conversation they heard Barney trying wildly to put the emotions they saw on his face into words.

"_No, _I don't! You really think this is what I wanted Robin?"

"How am I supposed to know what you want? You never talk!" She yelled back spitefully. Of course, that wasn't true, but it easily could be, and they both knew it.

"Gah- Robin! Just stop! Okay? Stop."

"Barney," she said regrettably and quietly, realizing now that she'd been yelling.

"No! Let me talk! You want talk- well, here it is, Robin. Now for the love of the playbook, yeah the playbook let me talk."

"Okay," Robin said apologetically, "talk"

Barney twisted his face, "I don't what to say; I didn't think I'd make it this far…"

They both laughed gently and the tension melted off of them like syrup dripping off the side of a pancake.

"Wait, wait," Barney said, "Really guys? We can see you; get out of here!" The three stood up and Robin continued laughing while Ted, Marshall, and Lily scampered away. "Okay, now talk," he smiled.

"What are we doing?" Robin smiled back up at him.

"I don't know. I mean, I'm happy, I really am. A- are you?"

"Of course I am. You're Barney Stinson and I'm _your girlfriend_. I was just being… I don't know."

"Crazy?" Barney suggested.

She sighed and nodded. "Crazy," she paused thinking about what to say next, "Look Barney, I didn't want to be _crazy_, but you had me scared! Honestly why were you acting like that?"

"Robin, did I ever tell you how much I love… _my job_? My old job I mean. Don't get me wrong, I love having a bar. I mean I have a bar! But, my old job, it was legendary and I was good at it. I was good! Great actually- there was this one time-"

"Barney!"

"Right, not the point. Well, the point is, I was trying to make this job better. That's why I buried myself into the bar- and yes, I know you noticed. But there's no changing bartending into something it's not. And there's no changing me into what I'm not. Robin, I'll never love commitment, but with you, I- I don't hate it."

Robin stood there a moment, taking in all he had said, before smiling hugely and saying, "Yeah, this is gonna work."

Taking his hand in hers and kissing him as what could only be described as lovingly, they strolled down the street into their own happily ever after.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, Robin! Guess what?"

"Oh, hey. What?" She replied coolly to her boyfriend. He had a childishness about him that made her have to try not to smile.

"I just got offered this _fantastic_ job! It's almost exactly like my old one." Now he really looked like a child, maybe one who was just about to get ice cream for no reason. Robin couldn't help but let her smile show.

"Wow Barney, that's great news!" In her excitement she pulled him into a hug before continuing, "Let's go celebrate; you fine with Puzzles?"

He nodded in agreement and babbled about his new job as a… something that involves big words, she doesn't really know.

* * *

The door to Puzzles swung open as Barney and Robin came in laughing about some lame joke at the expense of Ted's wardrobe.

Barney looked up and noticed them.

"Hey guys! Great news, I got a new job!"

A chorus of _that's great_ and _congratulations_ rose from the gang.

"Drinks on me!" he called out, which brought a new round of cheers from the group. Ted followed Barney to the bar, pulling him over to talk.

"Hey, bro, does this mean that you're quitting Puzzles?" Ted asked hesitantly.

Barney scoffed. Everyone knew that Puzzles wasn't always enough for Barney, but they also knew he still loved it.

"Oh Teddy-boy, would I ever leave you? You can't break up a bromance**!**"

Ted wore grin that threatened to split his face and Barney smiled back smugly like he does. '_Bromance,' _Ted liked that.

* * *

Robin walked into the building of Barney's new job to meet him for a celebratory first-day lunch. _Fancy_. Robin thought when she entered the office.

A pretty girl with curly brown hair walked out of one of the doors. The two brunettes exchanged friendly smiles. Robin couldn't help but notice how flawless her face was- like it was pure porcelain- and her cheeks bones were piercing, maybe sharp enough to cut. She wore a lovely shade of dark red that would make even a rose inadequate. In short she was beautiful.

The girl was laughing and had at this point walked into full view. She was followed by Barney.

He was laughing along with this girl, and that was the part that made Robin the most sore. Anyone could be beautiful or act kindly, but it's being funny that's most attractive, she thought.

"Robin!" Barney beamed, only now looking up, "I want you to meet Meg. Meg, this is Robin-"

"His girlfriend," she cut in sharply.

"Nice to meet you," she waved without missing a beat. Robin waved back; she was determined not to be petty, besides she was surly way funnier than Meg.

"Seya later, Meg!" Barney called over his shoulder. She must have been zoned out as they were suddenly out of the sleek building.

"You okay?" He seemed concerned. _Crap, why did he have to act so considerate right now_?

"Yeah," she shook her head, clearing all thoughts of his new co-worker.

"You mad?"

She sighed, "No." It really wasn't fair to him; it's not his fault that his new job involved a lovely girl.

"Good." He kissed her cheek affectionately, "Where do you wanna eat?"

* * *

Lunch was de- wait for it- lightful. _Delightful_.

They had both forgotten about Meg and any problems she may cause, that is until they walked back into the office and Meg ran up like she had been waiting for the two for the longest time.

"Hi Barney! Hi Rolland!" she said, a little bit too perky.

"Robin," Barney corrected.

'"Right, _Robin_," she echoed, "like the bird."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around Barney. Why she did that, she didn't know, or didn't want to think about.

"Well we have a ton of work Barn," Meg chirped. Robin crinkled her nose, _nicknames_.

"Alright," Barney turned to Robin. "Have a great day, okay?" He kissed her goodbye, but made sure not to make it sloppy. She had to admit, she kind of wished it was a bit more of a show. A show entitled, _he's mine, not yours. _

Robin walked out of the building praying she would never have to see Meg again.

* * *

**So, why'd you guys think? Please review and tell me! Meg is not crazy Meg, by the way, she's entirely from my mind. I want to give a special thanks to **_**SwarklesFan55**_** for giving me the idea for this chapter. I know I already said it, but review your hearts out and leave a suggestion if you have one! Have a Legendary Monday! **


	11. Chapter 11

Barney's favorite part of the day was walking Robin home. Make no mistake; his nights with her were an even second. But walking with Robin made even his crappiest days' worth the trouble.

So now, as Barney walked in comfortable silence with Robin, he could feel- literally feel- the rubbish of the day float away and disincarnate as if it were never there.

Even Robin, after her stressful day, laughed as Barney hummed _Hey Jude_, maybe the most sickeningly sweet song ever written.

Without even realizing they'd started singing, snapping to attention they realized they were singing at the top of their lungs. Not bothered to stop, they sang until they were to their home.

Neither could speculate when it turned into their home, but all of Robin's things were already there. Both were perfectly comfortable with this arrangement already. _Why ruin a good thing? _That was always Robin's motto.

"Ya know what Lily told me today?" Robin broke into Barney's chorus of _Na -Na -Na -Na –Na -Na- Na _

"Hmm?"

"She said I was jealous. Of Meg! Can you believe that?"

Barney scoffed with her. "Jealous? Robin Scherbatsky?" He waved his hand in dismissal.

"Right! It's absolutely _ridiculous_!" She paused. "You don't... um, you don't think that, do you?"

"Why would I think that?" Robin shot him a look. "Alright, alright, Meg is beautiful and awesome and all but I chose you. And I'd choose you again… and again, and again, and…"

Robin laughed and Barney leaned in to kiss her. After their lips had separated, Barney casually broke the silence by talking again.

"So, as long as we're being honest here, Meg is hanging out with all of us tonight." He drew his face back slightly, nervous of her reaction.

"Okay," she spoke thoughtfully, "But, if we're _both_ being honest, I may be just a little-like _really _little- jealous of Meg…"

"You're jealous? Wow, Scherbatsky, you really do like me," he answered smugly.

"Shut up! At least I can sing on key!"

He laughed and sang, as awfully as he could, and she of course joined.

"_And ANYtime you feel the pAin, hey Jude, refrain"  
Don't carRY the world uPOn your sHOulders  
For wELL you know tHAT it's a FOol who plAys it cool  
By mAKing his wORld a little coldER  
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA_…"

* * *

Barney and Robin were, for once, the first ones to Puzzles. This meant premium goofing off time. Barney of course "amazed" Robin with his magic tricks. Robin laughed and teased Barney; always back to their usual banter.

For some odd reason Robin kept pulling crazy faces at Barney, which they both cracked up at. Sometimes it was insane how childish they could be, especially with each other.

Lily and Marshall walked in at right about the time Robin was sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes at Barney, who was making bubbles in his beer with his straw. When Ted walked in, he also started laughing with the other four at the antics of his friends.

Then Meg came in.

"Hi Barney!" she danced her fingers both and forth. "Who are your friends?"

"Meg, this is Ted, Marshall, Lily, and you remember Robin." He pointed at each of them, and at their turn they smiled and waved.

Ted was the only one who actually stood up, unless you counted Marshall, who tried to stand but was pushed back down by his wife. It was clear Lily was on team Robin.

"Hi, I'm Ted. It's really great to meet you."

"Hi," she blushed back. Robin turned to Barney and mimicked throwing up.

"So, I hear you work with Barney. What do you do over there?"

"_Erm… nothing much, rise and grind, is it Friday yet? Am I right?"_ she mumbled nervously.

"_Sounds fun_?" he answered uncertainly.

Meg bit her lip, unsure of how to continue. Her eyes lit up when she finally thought of something. "Hey Ted, how much does a polar bear weigh?"

"I believe it's around a 1,000 pounds for a male, and-"

"No, silly! _Enough to break the ice_!"

Ted and Meg had a good laugh about that one, while the rest of the group looked at each other and pinched their faces together in nausea.

Robin pursed her lips. "Hey, Ted," she cut in, "remember when _I_ told you that really funny joke?"

"Um, no, remind me?"

"Remember, we were walking down the street and that guy had a ridiculous striped hat on and I said '_That guy's hat is really stupid_.'" She laughed. "_Remember?"_

Meg was the first to respond, "Wow, Robin, good one…"

"Glad you think so, _Meg_. You know what? We should have a joke off. Come on, you and me."

"Alright, sounds fun!"

Barney pulled Robin aside and whispered something to her, to which she responded with a soft "No, no! It's fine!"

"Alright, I've got one," Meg interrupted. "What did the green grape say to the red one? … Breathe, idiot, BREATHE!"

"Okay, my turn," Robin started after the others, but mostly Ted, stopped laughing. "Why did the cookie go to the hospital? … _Because he felt crummy_!"

"Cricket, cricket," Ted broke in after a period of silence. "Sorry Robin, Meg wins, hands down!"

Robin crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. Walking over to the bar with Barney, she simply stated, "I won."

"Yeah, you did." He leaned over to kiss her forehead before jumping over the bar to help out for a while.

As Robin walked back to the booth, she saw Meg had taken her spot. She may have let her hand slip as she passed Meg and some beer spilled out on her. She jumped up and screamed. Robin rolled her eyes; it was only a little beer, big deal. "Oops," Robin added somewhat sarcastically.

Wiping her hands down her dress Meg screeched. "You did that on purpose!"

"No I didn't!"

"Well I didn't do this on purpose," Meg grabbed the pint and poured it over Robin's brown hair. Robin shrieked and threw a couple more drinks before Barney jumped back over the bar.

"What happened- oh…" he started and finished seeing an empty pitcher in Meg's hand and two soaked and fuming girls.

"Hoser!" Robin tried to jump past Barney.

"You started it! Barney, I knew your girlfriend was crazy, but she- _she is a real piece of work_!" And with that Meg stormed out.

Robin's breathing was heavy with anger, but Barney stayed calm through it all.

"Let's get you home, okay?" He lifted her chin up and kissed her beer-soaked forehead.

She opens her mouth to say something, but instead closed it and nodded.

This was one walk home that Barney would not enjoy.


	12. Chapter 12

Robin had such a hangover when she woke up. It was awful, truly, it was.

What made it worse? Barney. Next to her. Reminding her of what she'd just done. What she'd just done…

A fork in the road arose. The way Robin saw it, she could take the easy- but extremely childish- way out and avoid Meg for the rest of her life. Or, or she could man up and face Meg, which, being the mature adult she was, is what she would do.

For a moment Robin wondered if saying that she was a mature adult was as huge a lie as saying she wasn't jealous of Meg. She did the math though and decided that since she was in a relationship and technically a legal adult, she was allowed to call herself one.

Now, back to her Meg problem. How exactly would she do the grown up thing? Maybe make her cookies or something else. Shopping was supposed to be a friendly girl activity…

No, none of that would work; the only way this would was if they talked it out. And talk they would.

* * *

Robin headed into the office around the usual time Barney eats lunch, only she didn't tell him she was coming.

A pair of dress pants sat on the floor, tossed aimlessly there. A corset, skillfully undone, lay there as well. This could be the work of one man only.

"Barney!" Robin followed the trail of clothes and tossed a door open. Her eyes turned to flames and she was poised to kill.

"Robin?" Barney came behind her. Fully clothed.

She screamed. Then a scream came from Meg. Then Ted.

* * *

"What are you two doing?" Robin asked mortified. Barney also looked on with shock.

"Nothing!" Meg said, scrambling to cover herself.

"Ted!" Barney yelped amused. "I can't believe this! I can't believe it worked!"

"_What_?" the other three asked.

"I planned to set you two up, now I know what you're thinking, _Barney Stinson: matchmaker_? Well, let hell commence to freeze over because _I did it_! _I did it, I did it, I DID IT_!" He got overly excited _the way he did_. He continued to rant at his victory, "I thought that after last night," Barney looked at Robin who shot back a glare, "That there was no way I could salvage this, but I did! _Challenge accomplished_!"

Ignoring the information that had just come to light, because she would get to that, Robin turned to Barney. "I thought you were cheating on me in here!" She punched his arm _the way_ _she does._

"_Bro code article 23: Anyone who is stupid enough to cheat on Robin Scherbatsky is a dead man," _he recited properly.

Robin blushed; he put her in the Bro Code. To anyone who didn't know him, it would seem insignificant and petty, but to Robin, she knew that it meant the world.

Meg, now dressed again, cleared her throat, signaling the spot light back to them.

Robin opened her mouth, about to give them a proper scolding, but closed it again. She thought about all Barney had just said. "I guess I'm happy for you two."

Meg squealed and pulled Robin in for a hug. _I guess she isn't mad_, thought Robin.

"This is going to be so much fun! Double dates, hanging out a Puzzles, it just sounds great. All of it." Meg continued. Robin and Barney exchanged pouts and had a quick telepathic conversation _the way they did._

"I'm still not sure if I like her," Robin groaned subconsciously.

"You'll get there."

* * *

Meg and Robin retreated to a small office, both agreeing a talk was in order.

"I'm sorry I poured beer on you." Robin sighed childishly. What happen to being mature?

"Me too," Meg mumbled equally as immature.

"No, really, I am." Robin said seriously looking directly at Meg this time.

"Me too- I – I just- sorry," she sounded so guilty Robin couldn't help but want to forgive her.

"So… we cool?"

"Absolutely, Friends?"

"Almost…"


	13. Chapter 13

The thing was Robin didn't plan on liking Meg. What they say about first impressions must be true, because though she tried, Robin couldn't shake the feeling that Meg was just about the fakest person she'd ever met.

But, she was with Ted and not to mention friends with Barney, so she had to try.

"So," Meg began, just reaching Robin for a lunch date they had set up, "Where'd you fancy going?"

Robin shrugged miserably; she kept going back on forth on how she felt about this whole _almost friends_ thing.  
"Come on Robin, I know you don't like me, but we have to try to get along for the guys." Where was her usual pep?

"Who said anything about hating you?!" Robin snapped.

"Hating? I think you just did." She laughed and Robin reluctantly at first joined her. "Alright, come on, I know a great pub this way," Meg gestured, "Just don't tell the lads we went anywhere else for a pint."

Robin walked on with Meg until they reach a magical pub with white and red lettering over the top. _The Hoser Hut. _

Robin's eyes lit up to thousand watt bulbs. How'd she know?!

Seeing Robin's face, she answered, "You called me a hoser yesterday, and I could only assume you were from the _great white north_… just like me."

"… Well, let's go!" she said way to excited to be taken seriously.

Minutes later they were chowing down on pancakes and making moose calls. Robin felt giddy, like a child on her birthday, and Meg looked to be having almost as much fun, if not more.

"Lemme ask you a question," Robin ventured stabbing another bite of flapjacks on her fork.

"Shoot."

"Well… where's all your usual pep and _general annoyingness_?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Meg said indignantly.

"Yes you do!"

"Fine… maybe I act _just a little_ crazy when I first meet people."

"A little?" Robin laughed.

"Shut up! At least I don't pour beer on my boyfriend's friends!" Meg giggled too.

"Actually, you do!" They both laughed until they were sure they'd bust a gut and had driven all their fellow natives mad.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for my complete and contemptible lack of writing, I don't know what's happening to me! I realize some of this is a bit modern, but please just roll with it, or make suggestions as I'm no history buff. Anyway, even though it sounds dreadfully corny, I heart y'all for reviewing; please keep it up!**

* * *

Lily's POV

She picks up the stick and she can't believe it. She can't believe her eyes.

_Positive_.

Oh goodness, it's positive. A lovely, fantastic individual that's purely Marshall and her is growing inside her. She drops her hands protectively to her abdomen, wondering what her little miracle is going to be like.

It's not like she wasn't scared about being pregnant or even being a mom, because she was, but she was pretty damn excited about it too.

How could she not be? Every little girl, aside from Robin, dreams of having a smaller version of herself and whoever it is they love.

Sure it means no more drinking and acting a touch more sane, but isn't it worth it? Finally done lacing up her corset, she rushes back in to find _whoever it is she loves_.

He cocks his head up when he hears her enter. He smiles fondly at her; see seems so thrilled. Lily takes a deep breath and the next words fall out of her mouth seemingly effortlessly.

"Marshall, I'm pregnant."

* * *

"So," Robin walks into the bar with Meg in tow, "What's this _big_ news you two just _had_ tell us?"

Barney frowns; why is Meg with Robin? His worlds are colliding and he doesn't like it.

"Don't know, they wouldn't tell us until all of us were her," Ted says nonchalantly, pecking Meg on the check and gesturing to the beaming couple.

"Alright Lily, shoot." Robin sounded uncharacteristically _Meg-like_.

Both Lily and Barney scrunched up their faces. Lily motioned that she wanted to talk to Ted.

Once they were in private, Lily whined and crossed her arms. "_Teeed_, why'd you invite Meg? You always bring your random skanks to _everything_!"

"First of all, Meg is not a _random skank_, and second, I didn't invite her. I think Robin brought her."

Lily huffed off and had a quick conversation with Robin. She seemed to have made peace with the situation though and was back to being cheery in a few short minutes.

Ted sighed pleasantly as he'd seen Lily do this thousands of times. He turned around only to walk straight into Barney, who uttered a simple, "Ted, a word?"

"What's up bro?"

"Well, Meg and Robin are friends now, ya know?"

"Yeah, Meg can't stop taking about it. I think it's really ni-"

Barney cut him off, but Ted was used to that by now. "I don't like it; it's a bad idea. What if they fight? I can't be in the middle of _that_."

"Barney-"

"So I've already thought of a few ways we can _break them up_, so to say-"

"_Barney_! You're being crazy!" Ted half yelled half laughed. "So they're friends, deal with it. What are you so scared of?"

Barney dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Wait… You're jealous! Barney Stinson, you are jealous! I never pegged you as possessive?"

"I'm not jealous! And what you call _possessive _I call being a man." Barney stated indignantly, arms crossed.

"Whatever bro, we should go back anyway. Robin's probably forgotten all about you by now, what with her new friend and all…" Ted teased while Barney shoved him.

As they settled back into the booth, Lily waved her hands anxiously to quiet everyone down while Marshall gripped her protectively.

"Alright, alright," Lily bit her lip. She opened her mouth then closed it, perplexed. "Ya know what? I think you should tell them, Marshall."

"Really?" She nodded. "Well, guys… _we're pregnant!"_

Cheers erupted from everyone, even Meg. Knowing that soon there would be another _awesome_ person in their group made everything seem okay.

Lily leaned in and whispered to Marshall. _"We're having a baby."_

"_We're having a baby." _


	15. Chapter 15

"I'm telling you guys, _the talk_," Lily chimed for about the millionth time.

"No, Lily, for the last time, we're not having the talk!" Robin hung off Barney and smiled contently; she always loved it when they joined forces, especially when it was against the rest of the gang.

"Robin, I'm pregnant now; I see things twice as clearly, and it's obvious you need the talk." Barney and Robin rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Fine, fine, you don't believe me? What happens if you guys break up, huh?"

The two shifted uncomfortably. If they broke up, no would ever take Robin; she'd be disgraced for sleeping with a guy she wasn't married to. As much as Barney wanted to protect her from that, he couldn't.

"_Lily_," Barney whispered, "_stop_."

Noticing that she'd hit a few nerves, Lily stopped. "Alright… sorry, but I still really think that-"

"Lily!" Barney warned. He sighed and rubbed his temples before Robin whispered to him that maybe it was time to go home. The rest looked down while the two walked out, it was a sensitive subject; they shouldn't have brought it up.

"I feel terrible," Lily moaned, putting her head down on the table, trying unsuccessfully to control her emotions.

"It's not your fault honey; we've all been bothering them about it for months," Marshall soothed.

"W- Well, what are we gonna do?" Lily sniffed.

"They need to talk about it," Ted finally spoke up, "Meg and I have."

"Well, maybe they don't." All eyes shot to Marshall, "No, hear me out, do you really see them breaking up? I know I don't! I honestly, think they can pull this off."

"I guess you're right, but they need to decide that on their own, and I think we need to apologize."

Ted and Marshall nodded, and they all walked out of the bar and towards the couple's house.

* * *

_Knock_

_Knock_

"It's them isn't it?" Robin groaned.

"One way to find out," and Barney stood up to get the door. "_Who is it?" _he called sarcastically, winking at Robin.

"It's us," a mopey voice called back.

He reluctantly let them in then and flopped back down on the bed where Robin was sitting. They fidgeted awkwardly and looked down at the dingy, wooden floor.

"So, listen," Marshall was the first to talk, "We're really sorry, for, ya know-"

"It's okay guys, we know you were just trying to help," Robin cooed softly, "It's just hard to think about, ya know? We were just sick of always hearing about what would happen if we screwed this up."

"But," Barney continued, "We've thought about it and decided that we're in this for the long haul, so it'll all be fine."

An enormous grin marked Marshall's face.

"I'm so proud of you!" Lily hugged them.

"Wow, guys, that's _great_." Theodore commented lastly.

"Yeah," Barney held Robin's hand, "It is."


	16. Chapter 16

Barney panted as he heaved the thick wooden chest into the back of a carriage. It held everything he and Robin would need for a week out of town, which sounded way nicer than it was. Instead of a relaxing break Robin would get a stressful week of awkward pleasantries and uncomfortable silences as she met Barney's mother for the first time.

Barney however was sure to have a blast.

That might have been the only reason Robin agreed to go. That and they also decided that since they were serious they had to act like it, and what's more serious than parents? Robin wasn't terribly close with her parents, but Barney on the other hand was always talking about his mom, Loretta. The way he described her, she must've had a heart bigger than the ole cathedral. She was no less than a guardian angel to him.

The horses brayed, and they knew it was time to go, but Lily was feeling extra emotional about their trip.

"I-I'm gonna miss you two so much. I'm so p-p-proud of you both." She sniffed and collapsed into Robin then into Barney who reluctantly returned her affection.

"Okay Lil, we gotta go now, yeah? We'll be back before you know it; I'll tell you _everything_. I promise." Robin spoke slowly and reassuringly.

Waving goodbye to the boys, they hopped up into the carriage and set of. Robin knew she should be excited, but this would be a _long week_.

* * *

"There's my baby boy!" Loretta rushed over and flung her arms around her son. "You simply must write more!"

"I promise I will," he said kissing her cheek. Then, gesturing to Robin, "Mom, this is Robin. Robin this is Loretta, _my lovely mother_."

"Oh stop!" Loretta pushed his arm; her son was always joking around. "Why don't you two come inside? I've already heard so much about you, Robin."

"_Mom_!"

She waved her hand dismissively and opened the door for her son and hopefully soon to be daughter-in-law. They dragged their luggage behind them and set it down in Barney's old room. They saw another chest in the room… _strange_.

"Mom, you in there?" a voice called knocking on the door.

"_James?"_

"_Barney?_"

So this must be the famous James… They raced towards each other and Robin's mouth raced towards the floor. _More family? _

"Robin, this is James," Barney said then quickly added, "My brother."

Robin didn't hear the whole conversation that the brothers quickly whispered, but she did catch bits and pieces, '_so this is her?' _followed by an impressed _'broooo'_ and then a _'right?'_

"Very nice to meet you, Robin," James said flirty, shaking her hand. It didn't feel like normal flirting; it felt a little _off_.

"Likewise," Robin spoke politely, and then added as an afterthought, "It's great to finally get to meet the '_legendary James_.'"

"Mom's calling for supper guys, we'd better head down," Barney nestled in between them, putting his arms around their shoulders. Robin hadn't seen such a genuine smile plastered on Barney's face in a long time.

And although she wanted to scream and fight, because quite frankly she was terrified that she would be crushed by all the pressure, Robin went to go have dinner with the Stinson family.

* * *

"Sorry dear, we must be boring you to death," Loretta turned to Robin, realizing she had been going on and on about the good ole days.  
"No, no, I like hearing about Barney as a kid. He must have been adorable," she reassured even though what she was really thinking was _I don't care; I wanna go home!_ It wasn't that Robin didn't like Loretta, but this kind of thing wasn't her bag.

"He _was_ quite cute, they both were, really. And they were always so close. You should have seen those two maniacs when I had to drag them to the public baths, kicking and screaming of course. They splashed water _everywhere_, on all the nobles too. Raised quite a commotion, they did."

"_Mom_!" Barney and James whined simultaneously.

Robin laughed despite her total apprehension to be there, "Got any more stories?" And Loretta smiled.

* * *

"'m head to bed, see ya in the morning babe," Barney leaned over to kiss Robin's cheek.

"First of all, _babe? Really?_ And second, aren't ya gonna see me tonight?"

"_Well_…"

Robin crossed her arms and glared at him. "Well what?"

He sighed before letting out a really fast, "Mom decided that it would be better if James and I shared a room and you and her could share one. Pretty good plan, huh?"

"No! That's a bad plan, a very bad plan! I think I'm gonna be _physically ill_!"

"Whoa, calm down, _babe_! Ah? _Ahhhhhhh_, see? I made you smile," he said smugly. Robin rolled her eyes.

"Fine, fine, See ya in the morning, _babe_," She teased before kissing him goodnight and walking calmly to her room where Loretta was already sitting her bed.

"Oh there you are Robin; having fun?" Robin nodded. "You look a bit ill darling, you feeling alright?" Robin nodded. "You have to say something dear! Barney didn't tell me you were shy."

"I'm not, just tired I guess."

Loretta nodded and hummed softly. _She's so_ _mother-y,_ Robin thought.

She blew out all the lights, leaving the room pitch black, before saying, "One more thing dear, if you hurt my son the way I think you might, you'll be a lot worse than _physically ill_."

* * *

**A threatening mother, who doesn't love it? **_**Please**_** tell me what you think! Any suggestions are completely welcomed! Side note, they'll be staying at Loretta's for a bit longer, so tell me if you'd prefer more writing where they're actually there or a small recap of the trip at the beginning of next chapter. Thanks! **


End file.
